So the days have been passing slowly and quickly, at the same time, which seems at first glance to be an impossibility but is really quite ordinary, not to mention possible. It seems that many things are that way.
Yesterday I had a chance to leave the temple for the
first time in a while. We went to a cave that I haven’t been to before (which
was a surprise because over the past 7 months it seems like I’ve been pretty
much everywhere in this province of Loei). The cave was (and is) very large and
very long with walls rounded and smoothed by eons of flowing water. Afterwards
we had lunch on a raft floating on a small lake. I was elected captain of the
raft and “got” to wheel us out into the lake by turning a homemade capstan
attached to a rope tethered to both sides of the lake. It slipped and didn’t
work terribly well, but we made slow progress and were able to enjoy a lunch
cooled by the water breeze.
I’ve been working in the kitchen most mornings and
afternoons. It is generally lots of repetitive small stuff – like cutting what
seemed like a ton of ginger into tiny slivers yesterday, or rolling little balls
of a tofu mixture that got deep-fried like falafel this morning, along with all
kinds of other tasks like washing dishes or stirring the big woks, or hefting
ice for the many large ice boxes that are used to keep things cold. It’s simple
work, tedious and long and hot but it feels like good training right now –
training in just sitting and doing and being at the same time.
I’ve been coming to some conclusions lately that have kind
of snuck up on me. In the way of these things, they seem quite obvious and
ordinary now, but would have felt unreal and extraordinary only a little while
ago. The conclusions, at this point at least, are that “enlightenment” does
exist, there are people alive in the world who are “in it” – quite a few
actually – and it is attainable. It doesn’t depend on religion or belief, and
while mystical experience can be a part of it, it doesn’t seem to be a
necessary part. It’s also not something that can be arrived at, tried for or
gotten through effort or intention. It is a state beyond “me”, and so anything “I”
do is simply more “me”. Enlightenment is always beyond this idea of “me”.
The natural law, and truth, of the universe is that
everything changes. What is believed or experienced today will be different
tomorrow. We can hold desperately to what we believe and in our clinging become
uncomfortable, stiff, rigid, and sick, or we can let go into the knowing that
everything is always different. No belief is permanent, no mind state, no
experience, no object, no body, no self…
It’s just the way it is.
Having spent some time now with someone who I believe is
able to live this truth of change in an “enlightened” way I’ve had an
opportunity to experience the edges of the sense of it, and to hear the words
used in an attempt to describe it. Comparing that with other words from other
people who have no connection whatsoever to this teacher or this place I am
finding that there is a high rate of similarity between them.
Mooji has a lot of
great quotes as well as many
videos of his talks, and his way of describing the experience contains many
similarities to what I hear here. Adyashanti has a surprisingly fresh and “normalizing”
way of talking about the same thing, and Sri
Sri Ravi Shankar also has similar things
to say. Mooji’s teacher, Papaji, who
was a student of Sri Ramana
Maharshi has a very powerful energy about him, and he also says many of the
same things. Papaji says that enlightenment is easy, but letting go enough to
be still and allow it to happen is more difficult. Enlightenment already always
is, but we are conditioned to believe that we are not in it. He also says that
God is everywhere, but not visible as long as there is a “me” trying to see it.
There are so many words, so many teachers and so many ways of using the
conditioning of the past, the beliefs from which one comes, to try to describe
what does not depend on beliefs or on conditions. But there is really nothing
new to say about it.
I always appreciate people’s thoughts and comments about
the blogs, even if I sometimes don’t get them answered. (Sorry about that – I think
I’ve gotten most of them answered though…) It’s so interesting to see how the
same words are seen differently by different people, and to read the
reflections that people send back to me. It helps me to see more meaning in
what I’ve written often. I asked Vicky if I could share what she sent last
time, and she didn’t object so here is an excerpt, written in response to the
giggling, bell clanging, wonderful ladies at the mountain shrine that I wrote
about in my last post:
“…I will also use
it as a reminder that, despite everything we humans do on this planet, the
silence, the peace, the beauty, the life force energy, lives on as a vibrant
undercurrent, undisturbed by our bell clanging, giggling, crashing and
smashing. If we simply move to a space beyond the noise we are then held
in the place where everything is 'being' not 'doing'.
Everything external
flows by. We become a part of 'the All". I guess the trials,
challenges and turmoils are like passing thunder storms. Some rush past
quickly, some just touch us on the fringes, some shake the very earth beneath our
feet, dropping us to our knees in a reaction of primal memory. But they
pass us by. Sometimes they cause great damage and destruction, burning
huge areas or toppling a single giant of a tree. But always there is
renewal. That never ends. Our Mother will always renew herself and
if we trust and allow, she provides space and energy for our own renewal as
well.
It is truly
incredible what I am feeling right now. It is as though the wind blowing
outside is part of me, the new spring that is on the horizon is renewal within
me as well. And the underlying peace and silence is me.. I feel
such gratitude for everything in this moment. Life is the winds and
storms and thunder and lightening swirling all around us. It is the
giggling, the bird chatter, the parties and struggles, and magic and everything
we fill our days with. But still I am the silence that lies beneath.”
So, that’s it… beyond the perception of this individual
self, we are That… J
No comments:
Post a Comment