Briefly by banana leaves

I just posted a rather long post that has been waiting for a moment of internet time for several days and so is a bit behind times. Luckily, not too much has been happening since, so there's not a lot to catch up on. I liked the title "briefly by banana leaves" though, so thought it would be worth writing something under it. I actually am in the presence of banana leaves though. The sun is shining rather fetchingly through them and then through the window, giving the light a pleasantly cooler greenish feel. I also have the good fortune to be sitting near a fan, and afternoon is almost ready to become early evening when things start to cool down a bit.

Today was actually a bit interesting as I spent quite a lot of it wondering if my mind and body were still connected or not. I got up feeling quite light and surprisingly good in my physical self, went to breakfast, and then decided I'd try the "forgiveness" thing with Luang por, so went to wait my turn to go up and see him. While I was sitting there I had the feeling I sometimes get that lots of things are going on just on the outskirts of my awareness - like when you catch glimpses from the corners of your eyes but can't quite put them together into images. In my mind, I was saying thank you (because I really do appreciate what has happened here so far - the generosity, kindness, being housed and fed and looked after so well and all of those things) and also my version of the forgiveness idea with an intention of clearing the space and letting go of whatever is being held at this time.

Before I came here I was learning a bit about the Emotion Code (Dr. Bradley Nelson: http://www.drbradleynelson.com/ )  The theory is that we all carry emotions held in our body/mind/energy system and these emotions can be quite easily cleared. The emotions can be our own, can come from other people, can come from our past, and can also come down our family line from many generations back. Identifying and clearing the emotions can help to increase mental, physical, and emotional well-being. I'm starting to think of the forgiveness practice as being similar to the Emotion Code idea, just with a different methodology. Between The Emotion Code, Ho'opoponopono, the forgiveness idea here - I figure there are lots of similarities and it's interesting to see how many different ways the idea of "clearing space" is available to us.

This time in the world, if one pays attention to what's happening in the "fringes" of social thinking, is thought of by many people to be a time of clearing, letting go, opening space, releasing what has held us back, the fears and hates, angers and even loves that have kept us from being free in who we are and locked us into the old patterns of violence, pain, anger, and various other negative things. Letting go of held emotions like these doesn't mean denying them, or denying the people or connections from which they come. It just means making the space more clear for all involved and letting go of some of the weight which holds us down.

In any case, this was what I was thinking about while I waited. When it was my turn to go up and see him, I had decided I didn't really want to anymore because I was done anyway - and there'd been all of this background stuff going on. Luang Por got up and left, but just before he left he turned around with a smile and said "Todd - A hosee" - which I understood as "OK - all clear".

I went for the "medicine" drink and then went back to my room feeling kind of tired. I don't know if it was the medicine, the heat, or all of that "background" stuff, but I ended up sleeping quite a lot and spending the rest of the time lying very still and being kind of fascinated by the way my mind was busying around like a bee in a bottle and my body was so totally relaxed that it could hardly move.

I've been noticing how a part of me craves stillness - just being quiet within the stillness and really "doing nothing" for a while. It craves really stopping. Another part is almost terrified of the idea and is constantly searching for reasons to move or things to be busy with. I really got to watch those two contrasting parts today.

So - whatever the cause, there was lots of processing going on today...

Gotta go. Ning's invited me for supper tonight, I'm at her house using her internet connection, and I hear dishes clinking. Lucky me!  :-)