Monday, October 22, 2012

Oct. 21 Lessons from Lantam and a discussion with Nuns



I have been learning some new words lately. Yesterday morning after the morning talk from Luang por a woman behind me explained to me about some of the words that he had used often in his talk.  “Yorm”, which sounds more like “Yom” when I hear it spoken has the meaning of “Surrender without reason, release, or yield”. It doesn’t mean to surrender to someone in particular or to something in particular for that matter. It more has the meaning of surrendering to life as it is at this moment. The without reason part is kind of like suggesting to be happy without reason – it is just the act of surrendering to the moment without thinking or analyzing or needing to have a reason to do so.

“Klye” is a word that is used a lot. It means to relax. Not just the body, but the mind. In our world at present, it is often very difficult to relax either the body or the mind, but especially the mind. I was invited to lunch today and had quite an interesting discussion. We were discussing the idea of asking for forgiveness and I said that this can have negative connotations in the west because it can be tied up with guilt, or putting someone in a place of power over you, etc. Forgiveness has all kinds of different understandings as to what it means and what it’s about, so it can sometimes be a loaded word. Ning said that she understands it just as a way of letting go of things that block her mind or body from being able to relax or to flow. When she says things or does things that bother her in some way, she finds it helpful to go to the person she said or did them to and ask for their forgiveness. Yesterday, for example, she told me I was too nice and too polite, or something along those lines. Today she asked me to “forgive” her for saying that, since it was a judgment. However I am is OK and “good enough”. Anyway, the word “Klye” goes deeper than one might expect. The mind becomes more open as it becomes more relaxed and still, and this openness allows experience to expand as well. It’s a kind of central idea in the lifestyle here. It doesn’t mean not to do anything, but it does mean not to strive or try or push to do things. Relax into whatever you are doing or being…

On the subject of forgiveness, Ning said when she first came she would ask her own body and mind for forgiveness quite often. From the perspective here, bodies and minds are things we use for a while. They are impermanent and changing. We have them for a while, and it is a privilege to have them. And then they go, and we change to another form. Even without that belief, it is a fact that bodies and minds are constantly changing and not permanent. She said that is good to ask your body and mind for forgiveness for pushing them so hard, being unkind to them in all sorts of ways, and all the things that we do to hurt ourselves.

Two more words, written in my makeshift phonetics are coe-mun-ing and deow gorn. Coe-mun-ing has the meaning of by itself, in itself and let it be. It is used a lot in the discussion of thoughts, feelings, and things that happen to and around us. All of these things are considered to be phenomena that are happening in themselves, not necessarily within our control. Watch thoughts and feelings like a movie. The movie is happening on its own, without the necessity for you to be watching it. Enjoy it, and let it go. It’s not personal.

People here seem to be quite good at not taking things personally. As Ning said, if you come by and I don’t want to come out, I won’t answer, and if I don’t want to talk, I won’t talk. So if you see me and I’m talking, it’s because I want to be there. Kind of a nice permission. Just be as you are, don’t worry about judging or being judged, or what someone else may or may not think or want.


Deow gorn means “wait a minute” or “later”, and is used in the context of “I will change/let go/relax…” later. They talk a lot here about not hesitating. When an action comes to you, just do it without thinking about it too much. I’m not very good at that at all. There are times when a little thought is prudent though, it seems to me.  J

It’s been a hot Sunday and now I am sitting in my room with a battery operated fan that Ning gave me blowing over me. The sky is beginning to darken and the air is starting to cool a little bit. Thank goodness the days are short – the sun doesn’t have time to heat everything up quite as much. I had a rest this afternoon and went out when I heard Jack (one of the teenage boys that stays in the house here) doing his afternoon floor mopping. I took over for him for a while, and was offered a drink of sweet juice in a plastic bag and a kind of banana coconut pudding by some people who came by to see Ajahn Nu. People are constantly giving me things here. Ning says it’s good practice. We each give what we are able and we don’t need to give back to those who give to us. We give to others or in other ways and it all works out in the balance.

I will leave you with this thought, that came from breakfast time today: “The ultimate truth of the universe is constantly revealing itself as the universe unfolds and changes. This is it, the truth of impermanence. What can one practice? Practice by asking for forgiveness (to yourself, the universe, God, another person – whomever or whatever works for you) for the things that bother you, that you hold on to, that block you. Also, give your compassion and good energy to everyone and to everything as much as you can.”

Klye, yorm…    with compassion…   

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