Be kind, live simply, don’t interfere

It’s 7:30 PM and I’m sitting in my room. Someone is watching a movie on a portable DVD player outside my window and Thai movie voices are drifting in, along with the sound of the crickets, and an engine running somewhere. I went for a walk after the evening gathering tonight and sat by one of the small ponds looking up at the stars. The night is warm and the pavement that I sat on still held the heat from the day. Only the brighter stars shone through the light from a quarter moon, but the many silent diamond points seemed to call me outward.

I was given a book with questions about Buddhism, answered simply. One of the questions was about how the Buddha thought we should live. It answered with a story about all of the different kinds of birds in Tibet getting together for a meeting to decide how they could best live together. After a long meeting with much discussion, they decided that the best answer to the question was for all birds to take only as much food as they needed.

I kind of liked the simplicity of that. I’ve been talking with Ning quite a lot lately and some of the discussions have been about this idea. “Don’t do things to harm or interfere with yourself or others”, and “live simply” are some of the basic guidelines for living here. At this temple, there are no set rules, and what rules there are seem to be more suggestions than dictates. Even these two “suggestions” have a fairly wide range of interpretation. However, there is actually quite a lot of weight that is removed from one’s life when one simplifies the things that are considered to be “essential”.

Hmm. I don’t seem to be terribly eloquent tonight, but I’ve had many discussions lately and wanted to share some of the things that we have been talking about. When here, discussions are pretty much all about dhamma – about the teachings of the place, of the Buddha, of how to live them or understand them. It probably sounds like this could get a bit wearying – which it can at times. It’s amazing how many times and in how many ways one needs to hear something before it begins to make sense though.

Realizing this, I am afraid that the following snippets may be less than immediately enlightening for you. However, I wanted to write them down while I am thinking about them, and perhaps they can be food for thought, or maybe one or two ideas can be helpful.

Lots of what is taught here revolves around not judging things: “Don’t accept or deny, both are judgements. When you disagree or reject something you create your own headache. When you accept or subscribe to something, it’s pretty much the same.” There is a middle ground where you don’t have to accept or deny or even put a great deal of thought into it. In the way of all things “Zen” however, there is a paradox where thought doesn’t work very well. It doesn’t mean one should not have an opinion about things and it doesn’t mean that one should have an opinion or judgment. Just don’t take either judging or not judging (or the “self” that is doing the judging) too seriously.

“There are no mistakes if you don’t have a desire to gain something or get somewhere”. Mistakes can only exist if you think you are trying to get something and don’t get it. If you can be open to whatever comes, then no step is a miss-step.

Along the same lines, the idea that it is OK to be exactly who and what we are, without needing to fix it or change it or improve it, or otherwise do things to it comes up over and over and sinks in a little bit further each time. We are, or perhaps I am, so accustomed to instantly deciding if a part of me needs improving or not, and then seeking to change it, that it is difficult to settle into acceptance. It’s difficult to accept that letting go of the illusion of control does not mean stagnation, complacency, or laziness.

“The mind will unwind itself. It only needs the time and space to do it”. Along the same lines as above. Like a wind-up toy, as long as we keep winding, the mind will be tight, full, and busy. Stop the winding, and it will loosen on its own.

“Don’t give meaning to what you hear, see, smell, touch, taste, think. Don’t judge it or hate it, love it or fear it or be attracted to it. Just let it be. This is also changing. This is also impermanent”. This doesn’t mean you can’t feel, that you should avoid experience, control it, push it away, disengage from life. Everything is constantly changing. You can’t hold on, even if you try. So, relax and don’t try so hard.

Here is Ning’s way of saying pretty much the same thing:

Firstly, don’t care. (meaning, as above, don’t judge or hate or like or fear etc.) However, if you do care then:

Don’t fix (meaning, don’t get stuck to, fixed to, or bonded to the caring). But… if you get do get stuck to something then:

Don’t worry about it.

I would add, if you worry about it, then don’t worry about worrying about it.

At some point along the way, just end up by letting go.

The result of these things, and the reason for them, is to let the mind unravel and release the weights that we carry and the many things that we hold on to. Just because I set a boulder down on the ground does not mean that I hate it or that I’ve lost it. I don’t have to carry it though. Letting go does not mean losing, it just means not carrying. It also means giving freedom – freedom to come and go, be with or not with and be OK.

Ka-hae-mee-sewan (my phonetics): A declaration meaning “I share all of what I have and what I am”. It is used as a kind of blessing. Giving in this way is like offering a light to the world. However large or small the light, it is not diminished by its giving. Perhaps especially when we feel small or like we have nothing to give, this is a helpful practice. Give the light you have, give in whatever way works for you, and you discover that there is more worthiness than you thought. We all have so much that we can give.

A-Hoe-see (my phonetics again): May all be forgiven, or perhaps to say it more definitely “All is forgiven”. Used often between people or in situations where there are negative feelings or discomfort. It can also be used at any time there are internal thoughts or feelings that are causing discomfort. It is an asking, and giving, of forgiveness as a clearing of connections, expectations, and bonds that keep us from being free. The word is useful, as it carries many meanings and a lot of depth. However, you can use your own words and meanings too. Pretty much all religions, I think, have a way of asking for, and giving, forgiveness.

It’s tomorrow and I’m just adding a couple of words before posting this. I have been having some quieter days here over the past while, and spending less time with the computer. My posts to this blog seem to be getting a bit fewer and farther between. It is still hot, in defiance of the fact that it is supposed to be winter. The weather report says it’s 34 degrees here today, with 37 expected for tomorrow. Yikes! It’s apparently -12 and snowing at home, so the temperature gap between here and there is fairly wide. Basically though, I’m just settling in and letting things sift and flow over and through me. It feels like a healing time and I still feel glad that I came.